Learn How To Control Yourself In Difficult Situations

Some people want life to run smoothly and to protect loved ones from harm. In the process, they become controlling out of self- imposed duty to others. They set boundaries, rules, guidelines, collect information, and push others to do things. Sometimes these are good characteristic yet at other times, it is a characteristic of a controlling person.

A controlling person does not intend to be that way. The true intentions are for good things to happen to others by managing the situations and people. Yet, even good intentions can be wrong or inappropriate. To some people, the controlling person is pushy and obnoxious.

Here are some questions to ask yourself to see if you are a controlling person.

1. Do you feel most people do not do their jobs as good as you do yours?

2. Do you try to help other people meet their goals whether they ask for your help?

3. Do you worry that situations will fall apart if you do not lend a helping hand?

4. Do you feel that other people often disappoint you or let you down?

5. Do you believe someone always needs to be in charge of most situations?

6. Do you try to push people to do “the right thing” even when they are unsure it is the thing to do?

7. Do you have over average standards for yourself?

8. Were you at anytime in the past judged, criticized, or manipulated by an authority figure such as a parent?

9. Do you feel most people do not live up to their fullest potential?

10. Do you compulsively dislike disorder, erratic schedules, or messiness?

If you answer yet to four or more questions, you have the personality containing controlling traits. You may be eager to fix problems or situations since you tend to believe that if things were dealt with better they would have a far better outcome.

When you are taking on the responsibility of someone else’s situation, here are a few ways to deal with the situation without being controlling or forceful.

1. Offer to help only when the situation requires your assistance. Avoid looking for reasons to solve the possible problems.

2. Wait for the person so ask for your help. When people know you have the strengths to get a job done, they will ask you to help them.

3. Avoid giving orders. Instead, make suggestions. Making suggestions will help you avoid appearing to be demanding or rude.

4. Learn to accept criticism. When asking someone their opinion, listen graciously and do not be offended if they say something you do not agree with.

5. Learn to remain silent. Sometimes you will appreciated more for not offering your advice especially if the advice is unsolicited.

Being a controlling person leads to damaged relationships. Reevaluate yourself to see where you are controlling. Make a point to charge the controlling characteristics, changing all your relationships.